One of the first things you learn at BCT (Basic Combat Training) in the Army is that everyone has a...
Zodiac Signs as Rare and Underrated Vines
Some say that the stars have no sway over your fate, and yet, when you look at your horoscope, there's a good chance that it fits your life pretty well. The Zodiac provides insights into your personality. It's not saying that you have to fit a specific box, but rather that there are traits you possess or are more likely to manifest.
What's great about understanding the flexibility of the Zodiac is that you can often draw parallels between your sign and the world around you– even in social media!
Works of art often possess a very specific energy or undertone to them, and those vibes can really resonate with some signs. A great example of this is Vine, the legendary social media platform of yesteryear that is sure to make a comeback sometime this century. Depending upon your sign, you might just get some Vines more than others.
Want to see what we mean? Here is your horoscope as represented by rare and underrated vines
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Capricorns are ruled by the planet Saturn, the planet of tough lessons and wisdom, so they're accustomed to feeling as though life is an uphill battle. They are often seen as old souls, and can be sticklers for the rules. However, because they are accustomed to feeling like they're constantly working against tyrannical or strict forces, Capricorns are often resilient and hardworking, and relish in success against the odds.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. Uh yeah, they sure hope the road is still working but they're going to go on anyway because they aren't some weak ass Gemini who has to have a working road to keep moving forward.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
Aquarius, condragulations on winning RuPaul's Drag Race season 11! You're a skinny white boy with a great fashion sense and pretty stellar makeup skills.
Wait... I've just been informed that that was Aquaria. The Aquarius zodiac sign, instead, is one that is ruled by Uranus (insert joke here), the only planet in our solar system that spins on its side... unless yo' mama falls over. As an Aquarius you like to do things your own way. You're kind of of eccentric, but that's okay. Your uniqueness lends itself to creativity and being a cutting-edge kind of thinker.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. As an original-thinking Aquarius, you don't mind whether or not the road works ahead, so you can say "uh yeah, I sure hope it does" with a great sense of sarcasm in your voice. If it does, that just makes your trip easier. If it doesn't, you've already got a new, creative way of going down the road anyway.
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
The sign of the Pisces represents two fish swimming in opposite directions– one trying to escape reality and the other caught in the current of reality. You feel things very deeply, but also have a very powerful imagination that you can escape into when needed. Because of this, you're likely a dreamer, and excel in areas like poetry, dancing, and music. As a Pisces, you may often feel helpless and caught up in the powerful currents around you, but you're stronger than you think and it just takes a little effort and a focus on others to help you recognize that strength.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. The part of you that is desperate for escape worries that if the road ahead is not working, you'll be trapped. But, you continue on anyway because fighting against the currents has made you stronger than you realize.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
Those born under the Aries sign are infused with the vitality, energy, and aggression of the red planet, Mars. Aries tend to be very competitive and have a strong drive that other, more timid weak-ass signs may sometimes take offense to. With such a strong drive and tendency to dominate, you can be impatient and get quite frustrated when things don't go your way.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. If the road ahead doesn't work, that's going to make you late, and if you're late, you're going to be pissed. So that road better be hoping it works or you'll get out of your car and just punch the blacktop. It's probably not going to be good for your knuckles, but it will be even worse for the road because you're a fuckin' Aries.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
No bull on this one– Tauruses tend to be very stubborn people. They're creatures of habit and stability, and tend to do well in matters of money. They're also evenly tempered and not easily provoked. Ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and sensuality, Taurus enjoy the finer things in life, and they essentially have two speeds: totally relaxed and luxurious or charging full-speed ahead toward their goals
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. You want to press forward toward your goals, and if the road isn't working ahead, that's going to prevent you from enjoying the finer things in life. As a result, you sure hope it's working.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
I'm going to be real with you, Geminis. Whether it's your rapid fire mouth, confusing split personalities, or tendency to be unpredictable, people just don't understand you all the time. As a result, your sign has become the butt of plenty of online Zodiac jokes. But being a gemini is about more than being the butt of so many jokes. If you learn to work hard and channel all of your energy into something, you can be incredibly productive and find harmony in disparate solutions because you can find harmony within yourself.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. It's a vine that possesses a lot of energy that could be interpreted as either chaotic if the word isn't working or productive if the word is working; you walk that line on a daily basis.
Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22)
Cancers are homebodies. They take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family, and have a tendency to be maternal and nurture when interacting with others. Cancers are at their happiest when everything in their home space is serene and harmonious. In touch with their emotions, Cancers tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. In this vine, you can see in Drew's eyes that he could cry at any moment– his heart is on his sleeve, and he wants nothing more than to get home whether or not the road is working.
Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22)
Leos have a tendency to be the center of attention, or to at least want to be the center of attention. They love to make an impression and want to make sure that you notice them. Ambitious and creative, Leos tend to gravitate towards the arts, leadership roles, and positions of charismatic authority. As warm and enthusiastic folks, Leos tend to be fun to be around, though their desire to be the center of attention can cause conflict with other strong personalities, such as Tauruses or Libras.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. It is a vine that has consistently been popular, even in the wake of Vine's death. Everybody who knows anything about Vine knows about the "Road Work Ahead" vine, and the same is true for you; you're a staple within your realm of influence and everybody who meets you remembers you.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Virgos are the virgins of the Zodiac not because they couldn't have sex per say, but because they're very exacting and needy, which makes people tend to not want to enter into meaningful relationships with them. Sorry 'bout it.
That being said, Virgos have a great attention to detail and love to serve others. they're not only helpful, but they're very precise in the help that they give. They are dedicated and devoted, and can carry themselves with a sense of modesty and restraint as they go about their lives and their work.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. This works on a few fronts. First and foremost, Drew is pretty virginal. He's so skinny and cute and...
Where was I going with this? It doesn't matter because this is the vine for you. You see, the road is a metaphor for the sexual organs. As the demure Virgo that you are, you hope that they work ahead, if you know what I mean.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
As Adore Delano taught all of us on season 6 of RuPaul's Drag Race, Libras are good leaders. Libras are focused on others and how others perceive them, and they very seldom want to be alone. To quote astrology.com,
For a Libra, everything is better if it’s done as a pair. Libras are good when paired up, too, since they epitomize balance, harmony and a sense of fair play. While they are true team players at work, their favorite partnership is at home: marriage. Libras feel most complete when they are coupled up with their lover, forever.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. Having the road work ahead is about having that state of balance that Libra's really value. It also ensures that you're able to continue your push forward and don't have to worry about others perceiving you as late when the source of your tardiness is just the road not working.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
When a Scorpio is on a mission, they are very serious. Scorpios tend to operate in certainties and leave very little room for grey areas– for a Scorpio, there is right and there is wrong, and there is no room for ambiguity. Because Scorpios thrive on certainty and decisive action, they're also very curious. They probe at the world and situations around them to understand them thoroughly, and they ask very precise questions. At times, their questions can be so precise that they come across as insensitive, but no ill-will is intended in the Scorpio's questioning; they simply want to know the cold, hard facts.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. Being mission-oriented and determined to complete their goals, having the road not work would put them behind and be a disruption, taking their commute out of their control.
As an added bonus, Drew Gooden, former-Viner and current-YouTuber, is also a Scorpio.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Sagittarii are wanderers, yet you are not mindless roamers. Instead, the Sagittarius values and seeks out truth, and is invigorated by hitting the road and interacting with others in search of the truth. You tend to have a very broad mind and a knack for religious, philosophical, and theoretical studies. You want to have a sense of purpose and understand the meaning of life, but be free and untethered in your search for meaning.
Because of this, the vine that describes them perfectly is Drew Gooden's "Road Work Ahead" Vine. The open road is your ally in your quest for knowledge; for the road to be closed, you'd be cut off from the sweet bosom of knowledge and experience you so deeply desire.