Let’s get the awkwardness out of the way right away: for most gay guys, the idea of making a mess while bottoming is mortifying. And yet… it happens.
It’s an unfair fact of life that the anus is a multipurpose body part. At times it’s the home of bottoming bliss, and, more often, it’s used to expel waste from your body. Those to functions are typically at odds with each other since feces is– to all but a few kinksters with niche interests– considered to be gross.
Leaving traces of mess on the top’s penis, unpleasant smells, or larger messes on your sheets or other surfaces are all possible, and they can kill the mood in an instant.
That’s why it has become standard practice for bottoms or anyone who may be on the receiving end of anal sex to take some time to prepare and reduce the likelihood of unwanted mess. Douching- the process of rinsing out the lower colon with water– is the most common means of doing so, but for something fairly straightforward in theory, it can be a confusing or daunting process.
Let’s demystify it.
How to Douche for Anal Sex
As a heads up, some of our descriptions in this article could get a little graphic.
There are a variety of methods and types of equipment you can use for douching, but the general process is basically the same. We’ll cover the basic process for douching and then discuss differences to consider when we discuss the individual types of equipment and methods.
What You’ll Need
To douche, you’re going to need:
- Some form of douching device– an enema bulb, shower attachment, squeezable water bottle, etc.
- Lubrication that is compatible with your douching device of choice.
- A toilet.
- Lukewarm water.
- A private space where you won’t be disturbed or disrupted.
Step-by-Step Anal Douching Instructions
This process typically works best if you’ve already had a bowel movement.
- Fill your douche with lukewarm water and ensure the nozzle is correctly attached to the base.
- Apply lubricant to your sphincter and to the nozzle of the douche.
- Gently insert the tip of the douche into your anus, being careful not to shove it in too quickly or force it in before you’re ready. You also don’t need to insert it very deeply. An inch or two is enough. I recommend doing this step in the shower or bath tub.
- Slowly squeeze the douche to release water into your rectum. Again, being slow and gentle is important here. Don’t try to pressure wash your digestive tract. Additionally, you don’t need to use all of the water in the bulb. Depending upon the size of the douche you’re using, you may actually only need about half (3-5oz, or about 90-150ml).
- If you’re using a shower attachment, turn the water on slowly, ensuring the water pressure is not too high. With a shower attachment, it can be hard to know how much water you’re using at a time, so only let it run for a few seconds.
- Do not release and re-squeeze your douche while it is inserted. Releasing your squeeze an cause the douche to suck water and fecal matter back in through the nozzle, which can be uncomfortable and difficult to clean.
- If using a shower attachment, turn off your water.
- Extract the nozzle from your anus as carefully as you inserted it. Engage your pelvic muscles the same way that you would if you were trying to delay a bowel movement so that you hold the water in you.
- At this point, you will likely feel like you need to poop. Set a timer or a stopwatch and try to retain the water for two minutes. If you can’t, that is okay! Retain it as long as you can, but don’t cause yourself to have an accident or to be in significant discomfort.
- Sit on the toilet and relax your pelvic muscles, releasing the water and feces.
From here, you’ll essentially just repeat the process until the water you release looks clean and clear, signaling that there is no longer lingering fecal matter in your rectum.
Once the water does appear clear, I recommend waiting a few minutes and sitting back on the toilet to try and expel any lingering water that’s hanging out in your rectum.
Remember: Fiber is Your Friend. An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Gallon of Douching Water, or Whatever that Expression Is
A great way to make douching easier and to help prevent unwanted mess whether or not you douche is to ensure that you are regularly eating a diet that’s high in fiber and that you’re well-hydrated.
Dietary fiber essentially forms a bulky mass that your body doesn’t fully digest. As it passes through your digestive tract, it helps move waste along with it. This means that you’ll expel waste more completely when you have a regular bowel movement, which means there’s less to clean out when it’s time to get frisky.
If you aren’t sure if your diet has enough fiber in it normally, consider adding a fiber supplement to your daily routine.
For those of us– myself included– with sluggish digestive systems, adding in a magnesium supplement can also help. Some people recommend pre- and probiotics as well, but there is limited evidence suggesting that probiotics have a significant impact on digestive health.
As for fiber, there are supplement companies specifically targeting gay men (e.g., Pure for Men) that claim to make fiber supplements that are ideal for bottoms, but, frankly, that’s just smart marketing.
There are much more affordable fiber supplements that you can find at most grocery stores or pharmacies that work just as well– look for supplements that are made of psyllium husk fiber. It comes in powders that you mix with water or in capsules that you take like pills.
Pro-tip: if you buy the powder to mix with water yourself, drink it quickly after mixing. Psyllium husk will very quickly turn into a gel-like sludge that is unpleasant to drink.
Different Types of Douching Methods
There are numerous ways to douche, and each has its own benefits and disadvantages.
The Enema Bulb
The enema bulb is a classic, and it’s what we recommend for beginners. With the bulb, the nozzle screws off from the bulb. You feel the bulb with water, screw the nozzle back on, and then insert the tip of the nozzle into your rectum.
The Benefits of an Enema Bulb
With an enema bulb, you know roughly how much water you’re using each time, and you can test the temperature of the water before you begin to rinse. Additionally, because you squeeze the bulb to release the water, you’re entirely in control of the water pressure.
The Disadvantages of an Enema Bulb
There aren’t many disadvantages to using an enema bulb for douching, but it’s certainly not a perfect device. For starters, they can be hard to clean. Many models use nozzles that are textured or which have ridges that are meant to help you clean yourself out faster, but then the cleanup process of the device itself can be tricky. Additionally, sometimes nozzles loosen from the bulb over time, which can lead to unintentional suction or water spillage.
Shower Attachments
Shower attachments can be very efficient for douching, but I consider them to be “advanced” in nature. Because shower attachments can deliver greater volumes of water and have higher pressure than a manual bulb, this can make shower attachments the better choice for rinsing into the sigmoid colon instead of just the rectum. However, the high pressure and volume of water is also why I don’t recommend them for beginners. You run the risk of damaging your digestive tract if you’re over-eager with your water pressure.
The Benefits of a Shower Douche Attachment
You can rinse yourself out quickly with a shower attachment thanks to the greater volumes of water and water pressure that you can use at one time. For people who engage in intense anal play or sexual acts such as fisting, deeper rinsing is sometimes seen as necessary.
The Disadvantages of a Shower Douche Attachment
With a shower attachment, it can be much harder to control the water temperature, pressure, and volume. Strong water pressure or water that is too hot can damage your rectum, increasing your risk of infection.
A Plastic Water Bottle
For too many people, a plastic water bottle is often the first tool used for douching because they’re discreet and easy to attain. While they lack finesse and I am personally not a fan of using them for douching, there are some people who swear by them, including gay porn star Logan Stevens. If you’re familiar with his content, you’ll know that when it comes to bottoming expertise, he’s a trustworthy authority.
The Benefits of a Water Bottle
Bottled water is incredibly easy to get. If you don’t have access to an adult shop or can’t afford to order a douching bulb from an online store, it can be a decent option. Additionally, if you have to be discreet, it’s a common thing to see around a house and can be easily disposed of.
The Disadvantages of a Water Bottle
Getting the opening of the water bottle aligned with your anus so that you actually get the water inside you and not just splash it around the opening can be a bit challenging, especially for people with tighter sphincters.
Important Things to Know About Anatomy
When having anal sex, understanding your anatomy can help make douching and bottoming both easier to understand.
For standard anal sex, when the top’s penis enters the bottom, it is going to enter through the anus, pass through the anal sphincter muscles, and then be within the rectum.
The Sphincter
Your sphincter muscles are quite strong for their size, and they typically keep your anal cavity tightly closed. Because of this, it’s important to start slow and get warmed up before attempting to take too much too quickly. Rapidly stretching the sphincter muscles with a toy, finger, penis, or similar can cause them to spasm and cramp, which can be quite painful.
The Rectum
The rectum is a hollow muscular tube about 8 inches (20 cm) in length and 2½ inches in diameter at its widest point.
That is typically where feces is stored until you are ready to defecate. Because of this, if you have a fiber-rich diet and regular bowel movements, you’re likely releasing essentially all or most of the potentially messy waste in your body when you use the restroom.
The Sigmoid Colon
Above the rectum is the sigmoid colon. If you start douching and find yourself expelling significant volumes of watery diarrhea, it may be a sign that you’ve rinsed into your sigmoid colon. The sigmoid colon stores waste that isn’t quite ready to be expelled from the body. If you rinse into the sigmoid colon, your douching time is going to take much longer since the quantities of waste higher up in the digestive tract is typically greater, and once the sigmoid colon has been stimulated with water, a lot of waste will start to work loose.
Rinsing the sigmoid colon and douching that deeply into the digestive tract is typically unnecessary. Remember, the rectum is a full eight inches deep. In spite of what pornography would have you believe, eight or more inches is exceedingly uncommon.
FAQs- Knowledge is Power, and Baby, You’re about to be a Power Bottom
How long should I hold the water inside me?
In our guide, we recommend retaining your douching water for two minutes. If your rectum is particularly stimulated, you likely won’t be able to retain the water that long. Alternatively, you may be able to hold the water in for three to four minutes at a time comfortably. It’s okay to hold it in longer than two minutes, but keep in mind that if you retain water for much longer, you increase the likelihood of water entering your sigmoid colon, which will make the process much longer.
How many times should I rinse?
How many times you will need to rinse before you’re clean will vary based on a variety of factors. Your diet, how hydrated you are, how well you’re able to relax your sphincter, and how much water you use at a time will all impact how long it takes you to finish.
For a rectum-only rinse, most people will be able to successfully douche within 10 to 20 minutes.
For a rinse that enters your sigmoid colon, you are likely looking at 30 minutes to two hours (I know… I know…) from start to finish.
Dr. Blen Tesfu, an MD and general practitioner who has provided sexual health insights for us before, reminds us that douching requires striking a balance with your body. She writes,
When using a douching tool for anal preparation before sexual activity, it’s important to strike a balance. Over-douching can potentially remove too much natural lubrication, disrupt the rectal lining, and increase the risk of injury. Under-douching may not adequately clean the area. It is generally recommended to rinse until the water runs clear, indicating that the rectal area has been sufficiently cleaned. However, it’s crucial to listen to your body and avoid excessive rinsing. If you have concerns or questions about douching, it’s best to consult with a knowledgeable healthcare provider who can offer guidance based on your specific needs.
Dr. Blen Tesfu, Welzo
How long after douching am I clean?
How long you’re clean and ready to get dicked down will vary and depend on several factors, such as how recently you’ve even, what you’ve eaten, and how deeply you rinsed.
That said, it’s important to remember that your digestive system is complex and takes a fair amount of time to digest food, extract nutrients, and turn your food into waste.
In general, though, once you’ve successfully douched, your rectum will remain clean and ready for several hours; potentially up to 12 hours if you’ve rinsed out up to your sigmoid colon.
Are there risks to douching?
Yes. Some GI docs discourage douching, especially doing so very frequently. As mentioned with our discussion of shower attachments, high pressure or temperatures can damage the tissues lining your rectum.
Additionally, douching is thought to disrupt the anus and rectum’s mucus membrane, which can lead to irritation, a greater risk of infection, or constipation.
Using an enema or douching tool frequently can potentially disrupt the natural balance of bacteria in the rectum and anus. While occasional use for personal hygiene or preparation before certain medical procedures is generally safe, using these tools excessively or too frequently can lead to irritation, inflammation, and even damage to the delicate tissues in the rectal area. It is important to consult with a healthcare professional, preferably an LGBTQ+-friendly medical provider, who can provide personalized advice based on your specific needs and circumstances.
Dr. Blen Tesfu, MD
What temperature water should I use for anal douching?
Use warm but not hot water. Hot water will burn and cause discomfort, and cold water can cause you to cramp. Try to use water that is at or slightly below body temperature.
Can I bottom if I don’t douche?
For most people who have healthy digestive systems, a fiber rich diet, and good hydration, you’re likely fine to bottom without douching as long as you’ve recently had a normal bowel movement. There’s not really a way to guarantee you’ve gotten everything out if you don’t douche, but for many people, the risk of mess in this situation is fairly low. That said, if you experience bowel irregularity, have loose stool, or don’t have a fiber-rich diet, your risk of mess is increased, even if you’ve recently had a bowel movement.
All-in-all, your body is your body, and if you and your sexual partner(s) have a higher risk tolerance when it comes to potential mess, then whether or not you douche is entirely up to you to decide.
